Music

Hello, lovelies! How are things? I needed a break from studying, so here's a post for ya'll! That was weird. I should never say "ya'll". Anywho.......

This is all about music and the memories/feelings it procures. Weird, quirky ones, ones that make you reminisce, ones that make you cry; we're hitting everything here.

First of all, how weird is music? Like you listen to something awesome/sad/crazy/etc... and your brain immediately links it to an emotion or memory (think Inside Out...). Isn't that just so weird? Am I the only one who is amazed by this? Yes? Okay then. Thanks, brain for this weird idea.

There are weird connections (at least for me) between songs and memories/feelings. For example: "Lost Boy" by Ruth B. makes me terribly sad because of a dance recital last year, the song "Heathens" by Twenty One Pilots reminds me of New Mexico, and "Sherlock" by SHINee still causes excitement because that was their opening song when I saw them in LA. 😁

Music is amazing because it makes you feel the emotions that you were feeling at that time when you heard it. I can have the song "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift stuck in my head, and immediately think of Hawaii (that song came out while I was living in Hawaii, and it was kinda the theme song of a couple months there... That is, before Kpop kicked in... XD)

There was one event that sparked this post:

The day after Tiny Kitten was taken, my mom and I went makeup shopping (because how else do you deal with saddness?). I tried my best not to look like I'd been crying for an entire day, and had to choke back tears like 100 times. On the way home, we were listening to music, and the song "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran came on (you can probably predict what's going to happen). Wow. I made it halfway through the song, and before I knew it, I was bawling again (getting soaked by a faulty gas pump didn't help either). It was a rough car ride the rest of the way.

Flash forward to a couple days ago. I'm sitting in the car, on the way back from an awesome day (and by awesome, I mean we went to Chick-fil-a AND Hobby Lobby). I was in a GREAT mood, everything was amazing. But then, lo and behold, "Photograph" comes on the radio. It's such a fun song to sing, so of course I was singing. And then I remembered that day when I couldn't get Tiny Kitten out of my head. And, you guessed it, I was crying again. In fact, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to listen to that song without crying or at least missing my Tiny Kitten.

Isn't music just insane? How can something that's just vibrations make your heart skip a beat, or make you want to dance or even just make you want to sing it?

 Music is something that's always been there for me. Unlike the rest of my family, I don't exactly enjoy playing instruments. I LOVE singing, but I'm not too keen on the whole playing music thing. I can listen, sing, and dance all day, though. So that's what I stick to at the moment.

Music is really weird. You can stat listening to a sad, whiny love song, and start missing relationships that you never had and a non-existent love interest. How funny is that??

Well, I'm off to dance some. I almost have this choreography down!!

What have been some of your favorite/saddest/most exciting memories involving music?

 Live Long and Prosper, and if I'm ever having a bad day, BLARE EPIC KOREAN RAP/DANCE MUSIC!! YASSSSS!!!!

Valentine's Day

There isn't much to say about today.

I did math homework, found a dress for a dance this weekend, and pet my cats. 

Aka, probably exactly what I'll be doing if you flash forward 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc... years.

It definitely wasn't a bad day, but it would have been nice to have someone to share it with! (as my cats give me sideways glances like, "I spent the day with you!!") 

Anywho, happy Valentine's Day to all you people out there! Single or not, I hope it was a great day, and I hope you got to eat some chocolate. Even if it was just from your mom. 

*waves at mom*

Live long and prosper and I do hope you had an amazing Valentine's Day! <3

SHINee Concert

Hullo! I've missed you! It's been a while since I've posted any real, full-length things. So here's one about my favorite topic! Okay, there are other favorites, but ya know...

Anyway... SHINEE IS DOING THEIR FIRST EVER U.S. TOUR! DO YOU REALIZE HOW GREAT THIS IS?? 

They're coming to LA and Dallas (come on, Denver is pretty nice, too) at the end of May, and I'm hoping and praying that I'm able to go see them. Yes, I did see them once last year in LA, but they only did a few songs. This would be an entire CONCERT! I'm a little excited, can you tell?

The one and only problem: money. I need quite a bit of it. The other problem? I'm kinda completely broke... So, I've been applying for jobs left and right, sewing and listing things on Etsy (Link: https://www.etsy.com/shop/UnscriptedArtisans?ref=hdr_shop_menu), and trying not to spend anything until tickets go on sale. Wow, trying to make money is stressful. Not even the actual "making" of the money, but rather the wondering if I'll have enough to make this happen. Or if it's even a reachable goal. *sigh*

It also seems like a waste. I should be saving up for a car or college or an apartment so I can move out eventually, but instead I'm saving to see 5 Korean guys sing and dance for a couple hours? Kinda weird. For me, it's not a waste. For me, it's something that I may not get to do again. For me, it's something that would bring me so much happiness.

Making others happy is great. I'm all for it. But when was the last time you made yourself happy? I'm not talking about that one time you got up and treated yourself to a cup of coffee at Starbucks, or those times that you stepped back and gave yourself some time to recover from life (both very important things). I'm talking about doing something that makes you truly happy. No, it doesn't have to cost money or anything, but what if it did? What if you took a weekend off and booked a hotel 100 miles away just for yourself.  It sounds selfish, I know. But over this past year, I've realized how important it is to take care of yourself. You're all you have. You'll find it's very hard to serve others when you're mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I am aware that it's God's desire that we serve others and such, but he also says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Don't you kinda wanna take care of that?

Maybe it's the wrong way to look at this situation, but to me, this is something that will bring me happiness. A lot of it. What's your take on this? Am I completely off in your opinion?

Just some thoughts. I don't know how my posts that start out somewhat shallow always seem to turn into this. Heh. I suppose it's not necessarily a bad thing. :) 

Anyway, live long and prosper, and wish me luck. I have a lot of money to make and not a lot of time to make it.

P.S. If you happen to win the lottery, remember the little people, okay? Preferably little people like me... ;)

P.P.S. Or if anyone knows of any place that would hire someone like me, let me know! I'm desperate.

I'm done now. Have a nice day. 

😜😇

Rest in Peace, Tiny Kitten.

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this. Tiny Kitten, the love of my life, was taken by a large animal the day before last, and is in a better place now. Do cats go to Heaven? I hope they do. Because I like to think that she's swimming (she loved water) with puppies (which she loved as well). She was the best/worst cat ever, in that she was so mischievous, yet so entertaining. I miss her with every ounce of my being. There's an empty spot at my feet, Tiny Kitten, and I hope you're up there smiling. And God? Is there a reason for this? Because I sure hope it's good. And is it too much to ask that the coyote that took her dies a slow, painful death?

Live long and prosper. Tiny Kitten would have wanted you to.

Thoughts on a Blustery Day

It's a blustery day. And by blustery, I mean that there were winds reported at over 100 mph. 

So, what better time to contemplate life? It's a rhetorical question. There is no better time to contemplate life.

Do you ever wake up one day with an unquenchable desire to do or be something that you've been wanting to do/be for a long time? Like, it's been brewing in the back of your mind for months, maybe years, and it just wakes up one day like "Remember me? Please put everything you have into making me a reality."

Laugh all you want, but for me, it's a Kpop idol (or a Korean translator; either way would be great). If you know me or have been reading my blog, you know that I'm obsessed with all things Korean. I haven't been shy about sharing that information in any way, shape, or form. There has always been a desire to move to follow up with this strange interest that God has placed in me, ever since I've accepted it as a permanent part of who I am.

I plan on moving to Korea after college, and hopefully doing some study abroad programs while I'm still in school. This has been my plan for about a year now.

But then the "What ifs" start talking. 

What if I minored in Korean and dedicated a lot more of myself to learning the language and improving in dancing, singing, and acting?

What if I auditioned for the entertainment company that so many of my favorite groups are from?

What if I was actually accepted as part of the entertainment company? Would I be prepared to give up everything that I know and love to move to a foreign country and start perhaps the hardest years of my life?

(The answer is yes, by the way. I would give it up in a heartbeat)

But why now? Why am I all of the sudden wanting to start living like a trainee for a huge entertainment company? It's one of those things that you just look up at the sky and say, "What are you brewing up there, God?"

Like I said before, the desire has always been there, but I've always seen it as impossible. Is it that I've become more of a dreamer overnight? Or perhaps that I'm going low-key crazy? Perhaps. But still, this is something that I feel I need to pursue. Maybe not the whole "Kpop idol" fantasy, because that seems a little crazy even for me. But definitely this strange desire to be in a country that I never even gave a thought to before my best friend showed me a cool music video two years ago. 

Along with this desire comes the thoughts of not wanting to get married, not wanting to have kids, and wanting to live alone. Who knows where those ideas came from.

God does some crazy things. In the past couple years, I've gone from wanting to be a professional ballerina and loving all things pink and cute, to wearing black skinny jeans, beanies, and rapping in Korean while busting out some crazy dance moves. 

I'm sensing a dancing trend here...

I would call it an insecure teenage faze, except for the fact that I've almost never been happier with my life and with myself.

This may be who I am for the rest of my life, and I couldn't be happier.

Live long and prosper. Life only happens once. Create yourself so that you can look in the mirror and say "Wow. I love that person and where he/she's going. Let's do this thing."

:)

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Pride and Prejudice Thoughts

And just like that, it's over. 

After all we put into Pride and Prejudice, that's it.

The emotion, time, tears, late nights, memorization, and work that we put into that show was beyond belief. And yet I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Despite all the hard times, the amount that we got out of it was amazing.

We all grew so much closer, suffered through tech week together, encouraged each other between performances, and somehow got through that emotional weekend.

Don't ask how we pulled that off. Heh. 

But the after-play feeling is FINALLY kicking in. Now that I've gotten over the exhaustion, I'm starting to question my existence. What is life? Why on Earth are we here?

In the wake of all these emotions, I haven't even had time to think about Christmas. And it's on Sunday. Oh dear!

Anywho, please enjoy our crazy picture. We took it during intermission during the first performance (hence how expressive and excited we are). XD

(Please ignore JoJo's dabbing...)

Live long and prosper and thanks to all of you for helping me get through that crazy weekend!!!